Dearest Rhino Puzzlers

Your clever participation in Project Rhino has been most pleasing.

And now it is time for the next phase…the RHINO SCAVENGER HUNT…

RULES AND REGULATIONS (these are designed to optimize confusion and red-tape):

As you have already demonstrated your strengths working in teams, we will continue this adventure IN TEAMS with points being awarded according to the master list of scavenger items below.

Now, because I am capricious and arbitrary, I have changed the rules already. I said the first 200 people to respond could go on to the next round, but that’s bullshit. I lied. Everyone can go on to the next round. However, I’m going to award points to the teams according to how quickly they deciphered my email address and sent me a message.

Team 3 – 50 points

Team 2 – 45 points

Team 5 – 40 points

Team 4 – 35 points

Team 1 – 30 points

(There is no team 6. I lied about that too.)

1.  Each item below must be submitted electronically to this endangeredspecies email address  ON OR BEFORE 2:27 PM, Saturday, February 18th, Pacific Standard Time. Late submissions will be scoffed at and disqualified.

2.  All photographic/video submissions must be undoctored! No photo-shop! If I determine that you have forged any of these items, i.e. digitally layered an image of a cockroach on a croissant over an image of the Eiffel Tower, I will deduct 50 points from your team’s total score and I will make a voodoo doll of you and stick it with pins. This is not a photo manipulation contest. If you want the points, you must really have a photo of a person on the Yangtze holding a puzzle piece.

3.  All photos require you to show one of your team’s puzzle pieces with the team number showing in order to be credited the points.

 

4.  Once you submit an image to me. I may put it up on a website or in a museum, so if you don’t want pictures of your naughty bits circulated on the web, don’t send them to me.

5.  Only one of each item can be submitted from each team. Duplicates will be discarded.

6.  Only those individuals on a team who submit at least one scavenger hunt item will be considered a “member of the winning team.” In other words, if you are currently a member of team 5, but you don’t personally submit, by email, one of the items listed below, you will not, in the final tally, be considered a member of the winning team. You must participate to be a winner.

7.  PLEASE REMEMBER TO IDENTIFY YOURSELF AND YOUR TEAM NUMBER IN ORDER TO RECEIVE CREDIT FOR YOUR EFFORTS!

8.  All entries will be judged by me, Misha Collins, and I will determine whether the entry is valid.  My decision will be final  - no matter how many times you email, pleading for another chance, there will be no mercy.

9.  The team that has accumulated the most points by the deadline will be the winning team.  There will be only one winning team. Second and third place are not “silver” and “bronze,” they are simply losers. This is a cut-throat, winner-take-all situation.

10.  Winners will receive the ever-lasting admiration of their peers and something awesome from me. I’m not going to tell you awesome thing is yet (because I don’t know), but I promise it will make your friends jealous.

MASTER LIST OF SCAVENGER ITEMS:

1.  A photo of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece standing near (or far) from an actual rhinoceros (or reasonable facsimile of a rhinoceros) – 9 points

2.  A photo of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece with any President, Prime Minister or Supreme Ruler – 8 points

3.  A photo of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece with Jim Beaver in which both the person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece and Jim Beaver have cigars in their mouths – 14 points

4.  A photo of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece standing next to fully decorated as a Christmas tree – 13 points

5.  A photo or video of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece dancing the hora and lighting a menorah – 16 points

6.  A photo of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece, sitting next to a lime jello mold with a piece of the Berlin wall suspended in it – 19 points

7.  A video of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece(s) setting up a tent on a traffic island (must also unroll a sleeping bag and get in it and zip the tent shut) – 15 points

8.  A photo of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece and 3 parking tickets made out to the same license plate number – 17 points

9.  A video of a live mouse or gerbil and an authentic rhino puzzle piece in a Barbie’s dream house – 9 points

10. A video of a 5 year old child (or younger) playing any song by the Sex Pistols on a saxophone – 17 points

11.  A video of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece singing an original song of 43 seconds in duration – 7.5 points

12.  A photo of a cockroach on a croissant with the Eiffel Tower in the background – 19 points

13.  A video of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece bestowing an act of random kindness for a complete stranger – 30 points

14.  A video of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece(s) projecting an image at least 20 feet wide of the attached photo on an exterior wall of a federalgovernment building at night  - 30 points

15.  A photo of a child swimming/bathing in a tub full of cranberries -  22 points

16.  A photo of a man standing next to a sheep. The sheep must have a German flag draped over it’s back - 26 points

17. A photo of a skateboarder wearing a wig in front of Buckingham Palace - 21 points

18.  Written or photographic proof of the existence of life after death - 16 points

19. A photo of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece in a Russian MIG fighter jet (any class of MIG will suffice) - 31 points

20.  A photo of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece while being carried by a firefighter in front of a fire truck - 11 points

21.  A photo of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece in a small, motor-less watercraft on the Yangtze River  - 27 points

 

22.  A photo of a person holding an authentic rhino puzzle piece with me while I’m wearing a single glittering, fingerless glove - 33 points

Break a leg!

Misha